Time.

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Post 4
Time.
10th August 2013

What does time mean to you?
Does time control you?
Do you control time?
Can you make time?
Do you not care about time?
Is time your life?

The fact is that you can't change time,
you need to know how to manage time.
Time is inevitable.
We live by time.
How does it when time goes by,
How do you use to its full purpose and not wasting it.

If you stop and look at your watch,
time is slow.
When you started doing something and neglecting time,
time is fast.

Time is the dictator.
Time is the director.
Time is my master.
I need to listen to what it says.

But sometimes i don't care about time.
I let time slide.
I do what i feel like doing first.
And when I think time is ok to change,
I'll let it past.
But when time comes short,
i do hate time.

So to have time as you friend,
you need to schedule time.
you need to manage it.
Don't let it control you, but you control it.
Time is meant to be used wisely.
Down to very last second.
When you're one step ahead of time,
you can do so much during the day.
That's when procrastination is the main factor of losing time.

Shall you not waste time,
Do what you want to do and do it.
Don't wait till when time past,
All you think that you wanted do, you can't do it anymore.
Because the old saying goes, you can't go back in time.
Seize every moment possible and make time precious.
We only have 24 hours a day, but in that every hour,
wonders can happen if each hour was meant to for something valuable
of course for your healthy 8 hours of sleep!


as he moves around the house
cleaning up the house
moving things around
taking trash cans out
washing dishes
doing homework
read readings
and go online and search for lenses and cameras
a busy day with so many commitments
time is running out
day till night
night till day
rushing and rushing the whole time.
assignments are piling up
due dates are closing in
favours are coming from friends to do many things
started procrastinating
wasting time
and just chilling
sleeping day in day out
lost the sense of focus
can't wake up
trying to read but all he do is youtubing
go out with friends for movie and long dinner and desserts
knowing that theres things to do
feeling anxious
started to organise the things to do
"why didn't I do before this?'
stressed and just wanting to just finish
started finishing each and every single thing
one by one slowly with much focus
getting everything done before the due date

lesson learnt:
make time to do things properly
when you're rushing, things that you do are not great.
organise and be focus in the things you do.
say no to procrastination.

It's just a feeling.

I know.
I can't really resist it.
It's been far too long and I miss that feeling.
I want to relive that satisfaction.
I want to feel that feeling again.

Is it bad? I don't think so.
Why?
Cause if I love that person, I wouldn't think it's bad.

Is it good? I don't think so.
Why?
It makes it look like it was forced.

I have no idea what will I do when we meet.
I will just need to see how it goes.

I believe in the moment.
I believe no matter what happens, if its right, its right.
As long as you know what you are doing.

God, what say You?
Would You allow at that moment?
Or have You given me a choice?
Not to repeat my mistakes?
what is it?

I don't know why but I've been losing my memory very easily these days.
I kept forgetting stuff.
I should eat more almond!

I'm just so impatient.
I am afraid.
This feeling that grows in me.
I'm afraid of that sense of lost.
I'm afraid of that sense of hurt.
So fragile, just so damn fragile.

Ah, don't want to think about it.
I'm just completing tasks.
I'm not thinking further than that.
It's bad I know.
But, I'm tired of thinking.
Tired of investing.
I just want to choose one thing and just stay with it.
I'm fine with mediocrity.
As long as I'm happy and I get to present value into the world.
That's all I hope for.

I'm changing.
Hope I'm changing for the greater.
I want to be more mature and think like a man.
I just want to be a better man.

Life's A Gamble.

Motivation man, it's motivation.

These few days I felt it.

I felt that self esteem.

It was part of my selfishness.

I think that I am better than anyone.

To think that way, is not actually bad.

To live in this world, you have to be selfish.

I learn so much from this game The Last of Us.

What it argues is that,

humanity, at a certain point where it becomes the lowest low,

humanity would change where everything from what they need, they will fight for it, even kill for.

There's no love when it comes to your own needs.

Only the love to yourself.

Humanity will see its true colour when 'apocalypse' comes.

Joel, the main character, he imply that humanity is not worth saving.

Would you sacrifice your loved one for humanity? Or would you save your loved one and live by a corrupted and spoilt humanity?

This has been on my mind lately.

The game is so addictive and true and just full on on emotions.

Since the theatre performance, I realised something.

I realised that I am good.

God is good.

Everything that I do seems to be something to be proud of.

I was and am still motivated.

After that show, a lot of the people just come up to me and say

'wow, you're really good.'

'wow, you're handsome, you can sing, act and even play the piano'

'you really did it today, you've reached there'

'you're acting was just great today, you can just change from one to another'

'i really love your energy'

These was the compliments that I get that night.

I was shocked.

I was just shocked.

I am really humbled that our group made it so well that night.

It was a night to remember.

This month has been the best month so far.

The love.

The performance.

The game.

The relationships.

It has made all the difference.

It just made me realise that I am good at something.

Not many people can be good at many things.

I just have to push even more.

To be GREAT at things.

I felt the need to start reading.

I felt like if I can read, read and just read.

The knowledge, the firm statement that I can give. Wow.

And not with just knowledge, the interaction with people.

The interaction in class.

If I can get the knowledge from reading and also with the interaction with people.

to communicate my skills with,

that in my opinion is great.

I learn so much from talking to Azmir last night.

It's like in the future when you become a parent,

it's not about how you become a better parent by focusing on you,

but how you make a better child a better person, you focus on them.

By this, I don't mean spoiling them or just give whatever that can make them happy.

what he means is 

how can you build a great person out of the child and by that you will become a better parent by how successful the child can be.

That is success.

I just learn a lot of things when I talk to people.

To talk to people and discuss knowledge.

in which case I ask not simple questions but deep ones.

Knowledge of things that is happening around us, general knowledge.

What value can you get from talking to these people and what can it help you to become greater.

I've changed from talking about myself to talking about the things that matters.

I'm not pursuing to satisfy my needs.

I'm pursuing to know what is there for me that I can work on and generate value to the society.

I think this is important as you grow mature.

The inside of you is important.

That is generated from motivation, commitment and responsibilities.

And other things.

Not just satisfying your needs or following people with what they do.

You do you.

God understands. 

You need to communicate with God and even people.

Without communication, there is no understanding, there is no knowledge.

It's time to be a leader.

You are leader of yourself.

To be a leader, you have to have goals.

A need to strive for something greater, not better but greater.

We are made for greater things.

Not mediocrity.

It was doubt that kept my mind.

The doubt of is this really the one?

The doubt of other choices/other people?

The doubt of my own body instead to endure the long term based on faith?

The doubt of communication, no physical face-to-face but voice and texts?

Love is a thing about commitment and communication.

I was scared when it all started.

I was always impatient and never rely myself on faith and hope.

This is a new challenge for me and I'm willing to accept.

The first thing that came to my mind that night was God, not me but God.

I felt like this was set out for me. He did.

To learn from simplicity, to commitment, to faith and to be PATIENT.

I can learn a lot of things from you, God.

Is just wether i accept or not.

What I really need now is just communication, that's it.

and Faith.

and I begin to realise that it takes time and 

the change of things will dictate where this us, this life will go.

Is only up to us how we want things to go.

By our mindset and our actions.

=)

Today.
Today.
Today.

Today, I think God made me realise something.
He gave me a situation.
He gave me someone.

Today, after a long 2 and a half year journey
of searching, discovering, sacrificing, enduring and perseverance.
God showed me something.
God showed me someone.
God showed me His way.

1st of August 2013.

A day to remember.
A day to cherish.
A day where it all began.

I never knew of the things that is set out for me.
Neither do I seek it, or did I have it in my mind.
Nor do I say this is what i want, or do I say this is how I planned it to be.
I may not now or I may ask for what I always want.
But God, you did.

This is one of the things where You hit it out to me.
You gave me every single day whether I want it or not.
You made it possible.
You made every lines and every crossroads come to pass.
You made it happen.

But I question You, God.
I doubt.
White lies.
Low self-esteem.
Afraid and scared.
Worried and lost.

What does this really mean to me?
Do I look far from here, thinking that the future might cost us?
What if we are not meant to be?
What if our path in the future does not cross?
What if I do not have the same feeling as she has for me?
What if I messed up?
What if I do not meet the expectations?
What if I expect too much?
What if I take advantage of things?
What if I made the same mistakes again?

I have told myself to live in the now.
To seize the moments now.
To be present in the present.

I have to believe that this is real.
I have to believe that this can be worked out.



Shut up.



All I do is that I think too much!
All I want to say is, everything can be built.
Nothing starts off easy, nothing goes easy.
There are things that challenge us to be better.
To be better in ways that we know are what we need to improve.
I'm living the now, i'm taking chances, i'm taking opportunities.
There's no right or wrong.
If it doesn't, it doesn't.
If it does, it does.
My point is, you never really understand until you experience it and you share it together.

But today, You answered my uncertainties.
I still have doubts but who wouldn't?
I believe that there's always a silver lining towards everything.
A positive.
I will try my best to make the best out of things.
To do something without apology.
Let's start, have faith and be strong.

I love you, C.


I was praising Him, smiling, jumping around and it was just such a happy happy moment for me.

=)